runaway tales ; chocolate #24: peace ; verse: the rainbow league

Title: Lost
Verse: The Rainbow League
Character(s): Ashley Adams, Kaye Adams, and Isaac Flint
Rating: G
Warnings: Mental illness/struggles.
Prompts: Chocolate #24 – Peace
Toppings: None.
Extras: None.
Canon: Yes
Spoilers: Yes.

He’d thought—

He’d thought, he’d thought, what had he thought? 

He used to be able to cling to thoughts, he thinks. He used to— 

But no, now they just run away, they drain away like water through a— 

What was he thinking? What— 

She’s beautiful. Her blonde hair bounces and bobs around her head, and he— He, Isaac, he, he’s yelling, he’s yelling at her and she’s yelling back and her eyes are so blue, blue like they are when she cries and he— 

He knows why she’s crying but he can’t focus on why, only knows— 

“Kaye,” he croaks out. He tumbles out of bed (when did he roll?) and the carpet tastes— He doesn’t think carpet should taste— 

“Ash!” Hands on him, strong ones, familiar ones, warm ones. They help him up, roll him back into bed like some kind of food item, maybe a— 

He knew once! He knew! He knew! Where did it go?

He’d thought—

He’d thought this would be peace, he’d thought at least she— at least Kaye— at least— 

He’d thought she was at least in some kind of peace, and maybe— maybe they think that of him now, unable to keep his thoughts straight, unable to lock words into his brain, like catching sand flowing through the spaces between his— 

The ceiling light has him blinking, barely focused, barely rational, barely— 

“Isaac,” he mumbles, and grasps for his wrist, grips it with an iron grip of his own and the thought makes him laugh why does it make him— 

“What is it?” Isaac says, his voice low and gruff and gravelly and familiar and warm and home and— 

It’s like everything he wants to say and everything he thinks, all pouring down onto his head all at once, showering him with too much, too much, too much! He can’t grasp one, one thought in the thousand, one thought in the kill me end this i love you kiss me please don’t leave me let her go send her away she deserves to live kill me i want it to be over why is this happening i can’t stand it I—

None of the thoughts reach words, none of them arrive at their destination, the GPS never goes ding, the thought never—

Isaac’s lips on his forehead, Kaye’s fingernails biting into his skin, grounding him, holding him in place, keeping his body from slipping away, following the same path his mind doesn’t— 

“Isaac,” he breathes. It’s all he knows, all he might ever know again, Isaac and Kaye and family and people who deserve— 

“I know, Ash,” Isaac says. How can he know? How can he possibly know? “Don’t worry about it. I’ll look after you.”

Ashley closes his eyes and lets himself float away. 

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